Come Read Our Lazy Christmas Letter

So here is our Christmas letter, which in years past would be sent to your mailbox. This year, in an innovation I'm calling "Putting The Darn Thing On The Internet Because Printing and Mailing It Is Too Much For A Slugabed Like Me," we're just gonna put it here and you get to use your precious internet time reading it instead of updating your Facetube or Mybook or Youspace or whatever you kewl kids are doing and we're not these days. You kids with your "tweeting" and "friending" and "poking" and "pinging" and other things that sound dirty... Humbug, I say!

The big news is that we seem to have survived our first year in Louisiana. It was a little touch-and-go in the summer, when the high temperatures were regularly reaching 3000 degrees, with 173% humidity... well, by my calculations anyway. But we made it. Adam, of course, loved the hot weather. We spent a lot of time in the air conditioning of the local children's museum, but when we were outside, water played an important role in Adam's summertime existence. We went to the pool a lot, and by the end of the summer, he was pretty darn close to swimming. Next year, he's going to be a swimming fool. He also found that running across the front lawn naked or nearly naked through the sprinkler was great fun. I don't know how our neighbors feel about it.

Adam turned 2 years old in January (which of course means he's fast approaching his third birthday already, but we don't want to think about that right now). And in February, he took his visiting Grandpa Ray and Grandma Beth to his first Louisiana Mardi Gras parade. He was completely exhausted by the end but refused to leave before it was over.

The visit from Ray and Beth coincided with the Saints big win in the Super Bowl. It was pretty exciting for the long-suffering locals, given the not-so-glorious past of the team formerly known as the 'Aints. And Ray and Beth got to see the Saints' victory parade, which was cold and windy but still fun.

Adam also got to experience his first camping weekend this March when we met Tori and Kevin, and Seth and Deb and Vicky at Caddo Lake State Park in East Texas. He was a natural when it came to s'mores and canoeing, but a two year old boy and tent camping are a lot of work for parents. It was a fun weekend, but that boy sure wore us out.

Beth had had such a good time in N'awlins in February that she came back in April. She flew directly to the Big Easy, and we met her there for a weekend of cable cars, the zoo, the aquarium, and gators.

And we had our first non-family guest in May when Colin extended his Southern work trip with a few days in our sleepy hamlet. We weren't able to show him much of the area because we still didn't know much about it ourselves, but at least he got to sample the end-of-the-season crawfish.

In June we trooped out to Washington for Sharon and Ben's wedding. It was as close to a family reunion as we're going to get, and it was fun to see everyone again (or for the first time).

After a couple of quiet - and hot - months, we flew up to Iowa for Rebecca and Bob's wedding. Again, fun to see everyone, and we had a good time exploring Pella and Knoxville, topped off by Evey's first-ever kayak experience, with a huge assist from Tori and Elizabeth.

In late October, we received a third visit from Beth (I wonder if she likes it down here?) and a second from Ray. They helped us through Halloween and had a good time collecting pecans at a local farm. Adam was a tiger (in LSU colors - don't blame me; if Jean does the work, she gets to choose the colors).

A couple of weeks later, I ran in the San Antonio Rock 'n' Roll 1/2 marathon. It was a fun weekend with Jennifer, Bryan, Stormy, and Blake. We did a little pre-Thanksgiving Thanksgiving while we were there, which allowed us to have a nice, quiet Thanksgiving here. It was our first Thanksgiving in a while that we didn't travel, and it was a nice change of pace.

We were going to do something similar for Christmas, but Jean got a hankering for the sea, so we're going to go to Gulf Shores, AL for a few days next week. But first, we've got to get Adam through the holiday without him exploding. The last few years were relatively easy because he didn't really grock the whole Christmas thing. He just didn't care one way or the other. This year is different. He is fully invested in Santa and presents and trees and lights and candy canes and stockings and snowmen... the whole nine-yards. We will soon find out if Adam received the skid-steer tractor he loudly and proudly announced to Santa that he wanted for Christmas, and the anticipation is killing the poor kid. I like to think of it as a tough but necessary lesson in patience that will be good for him in the long term. Adam is not so sanguine.

Aside from the Christmas excitement, the other big news lately is that Adam has started full-time pre-school. He's been going to school 3-4 days a week for the last few weeks, and he's enjoying it a lot. Combine that with his nearly complete potty training, and he's gone from toddler to boy in the blink of an eye.

We wanted to get him in pre-school so that I could start working again. I'll be teaching a class at University of Louisiana Monroe in the spring, and I'm looking to get certified as a group exercise instructor this year, with the long-term goal of becoming a personal trainer. We figure it's something I'll enjoy and can do wherever Jean's job with Deere takes us. For now, we're enjoying our respite from the crazy summer weather and looking forward to the crawfish season.

Now, you kids get off my lawn.

Mom, You're Embarrassing Me In Front of The Cool Kids

Adam arrives for his first day of pre-school.

Elmo backpack? Check. Sippy cup? Check. Okay, now mom and dad, go away; you're cramping my style.

... And I'm All Out of Bubble Gum

We needed a little more pain in our lives, so we packed up the brood (minus Sliver) and drove to San Antonio so that I could run in the San Antonio Rock 'n' Roll 1/2 Marathon last Sunday. I was originally going to run the race with my sister Jennifer, who lives there, but she hurt her knee in September and is out of action for a while. Lucky duck.

So we drove to Tyler, Texas, birthplace of Earl Christian Campbell, a.k.a., "The Tyler Rose," and stayed Wednesday night. Adam enjoyed the hotel room and the breakfast of oatmeal and sausage and yogurt and syrup and milk and a tiny bit of juice, and did I mention he likes breakfast? We covered the rest of the 488 miles Thursday.
Friday we checked out downtown San Antonio. We remembered the Alamo, took a boat tour of the river, had lunch along the riverwalk, and picked up my race packet at the Alamodome. No pictures; we forgot the camera that day.

By Saturday, Adam had discovered that Jenn and Bryan's neighborhood had a pretty sweet park around the corner. He and Blake practiced riding bikes and played while I got in a short run.

The race was to start at 7:15 Sunday morning, and I got there early, thanks to Bryan dropping me off at stupid o'clock. Jean and Jenn and the kids were going to come later and see me finish. If everything went well, I would be finished by 9. If my knees, which had been giving me problems for the previous couple of weeks, couldn't hold up, I would finish MUCH later. As bad as my knees had been, I did not seriously expect them to make it. Neither did Jean or Jenn.

O ye of little faith.

As I was training for the run, since this was my first half-marathon and I had no idea what to expect or how to pace it, I decided on 3 target times. I would be satisfied with anything under an hour and forty-five minutes; I thought 1:42 would be a good day and 1:40 would be my everything-goes-well, best-case-scenario time.

I ran the first mile with the crowd. It's hard to do much else when there are 27,000 people trying to cover the same ground. But it was too slow, so I picked up the pace and by mile 5 the crowds had thinned enough to settle into a really good rhythm. In fact, my mile 6 and 7 splits were only 22 hundredths of a second different. The lack of good training for the final two weeks before the race took their toll on my calves, but my knees were hanging in there, so I kept up the pace all the way to the finish line, crossing in 1:39:28 and beating my best-case target by half a minute. Hooray for me.

And, of course, as I was finishing, Jean, Adam, Jenn, Stormy, and Blake were on a shuttle bus. Aside from the herding cats nature of getting 3 kids organized and moving on a Sunday morning, they figured my knee(s) would blow, and they would see me hobble to the finish line. Well, they were wrong. WRONG, I say!

But they did bring a nice sign:

So, after all that, we met up, went home and Jennifer prepared a pre-Thanksgiving Thanksgiving dinner (that couldn't be beat), since neither of us are going back to Washington for the holidays. We got to meet some of Bryan's family and watched football and the "Man v. Food" marathon. We had to give up on MvF because you can only say "Oh gawd" so many times before you start having a sympathetic heart attack.

Finally, we drove the 488 miles back to Monroe on Monday. Adam did great in the car, but that's a long time for anyone to be couped up. Luckily his potty training has progressed to the point that he will tell us if he needs to go, and, being a boy, we can pull over to the side of the road, pick a target, and he lets it fly (not pictured).

So, we're home. Thanks to Bryan, Jenn, Stormy, and Blake for putting up with us for the weekend. We had a good time. I'm still a bit sore, Adam is getting pretty good at the whole potty thing, and none of us wants to drive that far ever again.

Halloween and Other Spooky Events

by Jean.

Happy Halloween from Spooky Louisiana! We were entertained this last week by a visit from my parents, and they were entertained by lots of small child Halloween activities, including a trip to the zoo, the state fair, 2 halloween parties, and trick or treating. AND we worked on potty training.... it was a busy week.

The zoo had lots of spooky decorations up, and this was Adam's favorite. He probably liked it better than any of the animals! The State Fair of Louisiana takes place in Shreveport, and it was a lovely event. Lots of music, activities, and animals - a small child paradise!

There was even a circus at the fair, with a great show, and their circus animals were available to feed. Adam was pretty impressed with feeding the giraffe - the long black tongue was great!

We went back to my favorite pumpkin patch with the whole family, and Adam got to do more hay rides, train rides, etc. Grandma and Grandpa entertained themselves by picking up pecans, which we then spent hours shelling at home!

Our gym had a kids party, which was fun, but mostly consisted of handing out candy and cookies to the kids. This gym amazes me with their "feed the kids lots of sugar and junk" attitude.

We don't have pictures from the library, but we headed over to the library after the gym, and they had a great bunch of games and sugar free prizes (toy snakes, witch fingers, etc) for the kids. It was great!

Adam went Trick or Treating with some other kids in the neighborhood, and then has forgotten all about the candy he collected - that is the best way to do Halloween!

Guitar Hero

He's already better than his dad:

So You Want to Get a Ph.D. in Political Science

If only the internet had existed in 1996:

via LG&M

Time Marching On

by Jean,

Where did September and October go? Probably the same place this train went - down the road as fast as it could! You can see Adam in a red shirt in the green car on the left. We went to the local farm/pumpkin patch and they had all kinds of cool stuff like this "train" (a lawnmower pulling little carts), a hayride, toys for the kids, and a pumpkin patch where they got to choose their own pumpkins. It was only 85 degrees that day - fall weather in Louisiana. The first time the driver took off with all the kids towed behind, all the parents were astonished at how fast she drove, and how far she took them! Only one child was crying when they came back, and it wasn't Adam. He was grinning from ear to ear, and ready to go again. After 2 hours of playing at the pumpkin patch, here we are, taking a break and sitting on the big round hay bales.

After 3 hours of playing at the pumpkin patch, I finally got Adam to go and look at pumpkins. Here he is, sitting in the pumpkin patch with our pumpkins. He declared early in the day that he wanted a "little pumpkin," and that is what he chose. He also insisted on carrying it back from the field to the car by himself. Now he picks it up and carries it around the house from time to time to show us his pumpkin. It's a good thing he got the little one.

What a poser! This is from a recent trip to the park. We have been working on getting decent poses from Adam for photos. He is getting closer to taking good photos.... this one doesn't show ALL his teeth, and his eyes are partly open!

The other day Adam was listening to music and said, "that's the guitar!" During the next song that played, he said, "that's a piano." He was right both times. Then he wanted to get out Ted's guitar to play while his music videos were playing, because the main performer has a guitar. Then he informed me that he needs "an Adam sized guitar." His grandpa Ray should be proud!

I repeat, where did September and October go?

Sure, He's Fallen on His Head, But It's Not That Far to Fall

I don't know exactly when the brain damage occurred, but Adam ain't right. Today, at the gym daycare, he went out to their little outside climbing toy, crawled underneath it, and stripped. Diaper too. When the staff asked him what he was doing, he replied, "It's okay."

This Is Why the Internet Was Invented

I know we've gone dark 'round here for a while. We've been busy... or something. I'll post a few things over the next week or so detailing some of our recent and semi-recent activities.

In the meantime, bask in the greatness that is RedLetterMedia's YouTube Channel. They specialize in epic reviews of sci-fi movies, especially Star Trek and the Star Wars prequels. Head on over some time and poke around. You'll need sound, of course. Also, they use naughty words, so do not watch them at work - unless you've got a sweet job where your boss and your co-workers are okay with that sort of thing, you know, like the local shipyard, the set of a Quentin Tarantino movie, or a Jesuit university.

In particular, I would like to recommend their 7-part review of Star Wars: The Phantom Menace and their 9-part (that's right, 9 parts - I told you they were epic) review of Star Wars: Attack of the Clones.

Here. I'll get you started:

(By Jean) Dirt,Snacks, and other things small boys Enjoy

For a while, Adam could care less about driving his toys in the dirt.... but that recently changed. We have had more time in the dirt playing in the last 3 weeks than in the previous 6 months combined. And more showers, baths, and clothes to wash, also! I had to weed the flower bed the other day to provide him with space to run his trucks - it had gotten too overgrown for them to really dig down in and get dirty and mucky!

It's all happening at the zoo - here is Adam wearing my hat on a recent expedition to our local zoo. We were watching the Lemurs and snacking. Snacking is a big part of any zoo trip. See the monkeys, get raisins. See the hippo, get a pickle. See the tiger, get cheese. And so on....

Adam's new favorite when we go to Sam's Club is the Caesar Salad - in part because it has croutons, and also because he can share with either Ted or me, and get salad dressing for dipping. He is willing to negotiate and eat some lettuce in exchange for croutons. Crazy boy!

Wise Beyond His Years

Adam recently has been enjoying Monsters, Inc. The adventures of Sully, Mike, and Boo amuse him greatly, and he's a sucker for a sight gag. We don't have a portable DVD player - not yet, anyway - so his movie watching is confined to the house, mostly right before his afternoon nap. But we have an iPod for music in the car.

Yesterday, on the way to the gym in the morning, Adam informed me, "If we had another iPod, we could bring the Monsters wiff us."

Now This Is Not the End. It Is Not Even the Beginning of the End. But It Is, Perhaps, the End of the Beginning

According to weather.com, August 5 is the day that West Monroe sees its first decrease in an average temperature since January. Today, the average low goes from 72 to 71 degrees. Brrr-freaking-rrr.

Also too, the average high plummets from 95 to 94 on August 13.

To give you some indication of how the recent heat wave has affected us, it was 100 today, and Adam and I were talking about how it felt so much better than the last few days. Sadly, it really was better today, even though the heat index this morning at 6 a.m. was, if I recall correctly, 92 (seriously). The last four days the highs have been 104, 106, 104, and 104, and the lows have been 79, 80, 82, and 84. Oh, and we haven't seen a temp in the 60s since May.

Hmm... Maybe I shouldn't put so much stock in those average temps...

Brain-melting Hellscape: Achieved

Current temperature in West Monroe, LA: approximately 173 degrees. Heat index: 203.

Motley Crew

I'll write more about our trip west soon (yeah, really), but, until then, here's a picture of pert'near the whole clan.

Scary. (Click on the picture to embiggen, if you dare)

Now That's Just Wrong

Adam and I were heading into a Subway restaurant for lunch yesterday, and we spotted a dead bug in the parking lot. It was a beetle, and it was, I kid you not, at least as big as Adam's fist.

Now, I'm not one to freak out at the sight of a bug, and I didn't yesterday, but... come on. This was one of those bugs that you're only supposed to encounter because some scientist trekked to far away lands and brought back a specimen tacked to a board. You know, one of those bugs you're happy is in far away lands, not at the freaking Subway.

We're learning to get by down here in the land of deep fried food and deep fried weather, but there is a limit to what I'm willing to tolerate in the normal course of my day, and a bug the size of a Sherman tank is pretty dang close to that limit.

Prep the Wide Angle Lens

We fly out of Little Rock early Wednesday morning for my sister Sharon's wedding. We'll be there about 10 days. Ten glorious days of highs in the 60s and 70s. Huzzah! Actually, we haven't been below 72 in June here, so it's probably going to feel cold, but I'm willing to take that chance.

And since there are lots of Joneses heading out for the wedding, it's going to be like a family reunion, and with our family, that's a lot of people. Adam's looking forward to seeing his cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents again (some for the first time), but first we've going to see Odin and Seth and Deb again. Adam likes Odin and Seth and Deb.

I Can't Read Your Crazy Moon Language

We've been using the classic "spell it if you don't want Adam to know what you're talking about" routine for quite a while now. I've long suspected he knew more than he was letting on. So today Jean spelled "P-O-O-L," and I decided to ask Adam if he knew what that spelled.

"Butterfly!" He replied, with characteristic enthusiasm.

"P-O-O-L." We sounded it out. He exclaimed, "Firetruck!"

We sounded it out again. He even muttered, "poo" under his breath. Twice.

"Adam, what does P-O-O-L spell?"

"Walmart!"

I'm Your Huckleberry

Did someone order a butt-kicking?

No Shoes, No Shirt, No Problem

The New Orleans Zoo has a water feature that kids can run around in to cool off. Had we known about it before-hand, we would have prepared. As it was, we made do by stripping Adam to his diaper and setting him loose. He approved:

Laissez les bons temps rouler

Last week we met Jean's mom in N'awlins, then hung around for a few days, taking in the sights and sounds and smells of the Big Easy. Adam enjoyed himself immensely, as the trolley train was an important transportation option for us. He loves trains. He loves trolleys. So New Orleans trolley trains are like the Reese's Peanut Butter Cup of public transportation for him.

We went to the zoo, the aquarium, rode the ferry boat across the river and back, drove to a wildlife refuge and saw gators, snakes, ducks, and other wildlife, and Jean and I even walked Bourbon Street one evening while Beth supervised a sleeping Adam. While it's fun on some level to simply people-watch, it only reinforced for us our belief that Bourbon Street is just spring break for old people, and that is a thing best left to others.

On to the pictures:

Our hotel had a pool. Adam likes pools:

For some reason, Adam decided this statue of a gorilla needed a hug. That boy ain't right:

Videos to come.